Episode 108 - Thankfulness vs. Gratitude: The Key to a Full Life

In this Thanksgiving episode, Paul explores the powerful difference between a moment of thankfulness and a life built on lasting gratitude. While thankfulness reacts to the blessings we notice, gratitude roots us in God’s goodness even when circumstances shift. Discover how gratitude unlocks the “fullness of life” Jesus promises — and how choosing it daily can transform your faith, relationships, and peace. Happy Thanksgiving!

Transcript

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Paul, Welcome to Catholic money talk, where we talk about all things money and finance, and we try to do it through a lens of being Catholic, where our ultimate goal is to one day be in Heaven with the Lord. I am your host. Paul Scarfone, thank you for being here today. Welcome back to Catholic money talk and happy early Thanksgiving. You know, this year, as we've been approaching Thanksgiving, I've had something stirring in my heart, and I thought that this would be an appropriate moment to share about it. And it began several weeks ago. I was at a prayer event A friend of mine had given up, and he was given up, and he was given just a brief talk on encouraging us as we were getting ready to pray, and he gave us this exhortation on John 1010, I have come that you might have life and have it to the full. And so I want to talk about that today, because there was a few things that as he talked, they really struck me. So let's get into it. But before we do, let's say a prayer in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Amen, Heavenly Father. We thank you for this day. We thank you for all the wonderful things that you have for us, Lord, all the wonderful things that you've done for us, that you are doing for us, and the wonderful plan that you have for our futures, Lord, give us a deep sense of gratitude for all that you've done. Fill us with great hope for all that you are going to do. And give us peace, Lord God, in these moments in our lives, this particular moment, wherever we might find ourselves, knowing that you have an awesome plan. Come Holy Spirit fill us with great hope, great peace and great gratitude. We ask this all in Jesus, name, amen, in name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Amen. So John, 1010, I have come that you might have life and have it to the full. And as my friend began to elaborate on this, you know, he basically said, we could walk around feeling that we don't have it to the full, right? And that could be a result of our circumstances or different situations. Maybe decisions we've made, maybe decisions other people have made that have hurt us. Maybe it's sickness, illness, financial problems, it's very easy to potentially not feel like we are living life to the full, but if Christ came that we might have life and have it to the full, how do we reconcile all of this and what he told us as he was teaching in his prayerful reflection, and then I've been prayerfully reflecting on this as well and pondering this that in order to unlock that fullness of life that Jesus promised, we must have gratitude. Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. And that line has stayed with me over these past few weeks. I've taken it to prayer, I've journaled about it, and the more I sit with it, the more I keep seeing something important, and that is, there's a big difference between thankfulness and gratitude. And understanding that difference, I think, will help you, maybe change your life a little bit. It's changing my life. So let's look at this. You know, most people might not see a distinction, so I'm going to elaborate on it. Right. Most of us lump thankfulness and gratitude together, but I propose they're very different. Thankfulness is a moment, and gratitude. It's like a lifestyle, right? It's more permanent. Thankfulness is what we feel when something good happens, right? When we say thank you, someone gives you a gift. You know, dinner tastes great. I'll sometimes at dinner, I'll say, Honey, thanks for dinner, and she'll say, you haven't even dried it yet, right? Maybe your kid finally cleans up their room. You get a compliment, maybe, maybe some success. At work, your boss says, Thank you, or, you know, something silly, you put on your old winter coat. It's getting cold again. You put your hand in the pocket, and there's 20 bucks, right? Oh, this is great. Thankfulness is wonderful, but it's momentary, and it's reaction to something external. But gratitude is deeper. Gratitude is a position. It's a posture of the heart, right? It's a lens through which we interpret everything in our lives. It's what remains with. Us when that moment of thankfulness is gone, right? When it fades, when we when we get further away from that moment. You know, as a kid, I remember teachers saying something like, have an attitude of gratitude, right? And I didn't quite understand it then, other than the teacher thought they were clever because it rhymed. But as I think about it, you know, an attitude of gratitude, it's, it's an attitude is longer than just a moment. It's not a reaction, right? Gratitude isn't about the moment. Gratitude stays and it needs to be constant. It must be our ongoing response to the Lord and all that he's done. We need to have a deep gratitude for the gift of each moment, because it all comes from Him. So thankfulness fades, gratitude remains. And here's one of the biggest differences. Think of it like this, Thankfulness is a spark. It's beautiful, but it's quick. You feel thankful today, but tomorrow, you may not remember it. Yeah, I just saw this with one of my children just the other day. We planned a wonderful weekend for her. She got a fun activity on Friday night, and then Saturday, she got to go on an outing with some friends, just them, none of the other kids were invited. Then Sunday, another special thing later in the day, on Sunday, I was having a one on one conversation with one of my other children, and this child, the one who had the fun experience all weekend, and it took some effort by me and planning it all out, she was disappointed because I was spending some quality time with someone else, someone else was getting my full attention, and she felt excluded. And as she was starting to complain about it, I reminded her of all the other wonderful things that she got to participate in this weekend, and how all of them were just for her. I had taken my time and effort, and her friends had taken the time to set them all up. And in those moments, she had thanked me profusely. I said that to her, don't you remember? You were so thankful. You were saying, Thank you daddy, Thank you daddy for all these things. And now it's just a few hours later, she was complaining that she doesn't get to participate in this new moment because, and it's, you know, my attention, it was fully being given to someone else. So as I point this out to her, she quickly apologized and agreed that she did have a wonderful weekend and she was still grateful for it. So do you see this example? How many times in life do we, as adults, right? We go through the same thing, we're thankful in the moment, then we quickly lose our gratitude as we're slowly distanced from that event that we were so thankful for. See, gratitude is different. Gratitude chooses to stay focused on what God has given even when nothing special is happening, right, even when something hard is happening, actually, as I'm thinking about that now, right, gratitude remains through everything. When thankfulness wears off, gratitude keeps saying. God has provided I know he's with me. Look at what I still have. Look how far he's brought me. It also encourages and elicits hope, because he's faithful, and there's going to be more things that he gives us that we can continue to be thankful for, that will help build upon that foundation of gratitude. You know, in my prayer, I have a constant line, you know, when I'm personally praying, and I thank the Lord for all he's done in my life. And I remind myself when I go through this kind of litany of thanks, that of all these things God has done, he's done the hardest parts, right for all of us, He came and He died for our sins. None of us could have done that. He did that right. I need him, and he has come through, no matter what challenge I face or what moment I find myself in, God has already done the hard part only because he loves me. Wow. That needs to be my basis, my foundation for gratitude. So thankfulness reacts, gratitude remembers. Thankfulness is external. It's a response to something external. Gratitude is internal, right? It's it's in our hearts. And this is a key distinction. Thankfulness tends to be outward, something that happened to me, so I respond with thanks, but gratitude is internal. It's what keeps me grounded when life shakes, it's what lets us experience joy, even through trials. You. I love what St Paul says in Philippians, four, six, verse seven, have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, make your request known to God, and then the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds. In Christ, Jesus, I love that line. The really cool part about that line, too is when you think about it, Paul is writing this from prison, from prison, and he's talking about Thanksgiving. Why? Because that Thanksgiving is just building upon what he already has, which is a deep gratitude, right? Because gratitude isn't dictated by circumstances. Gratitude is a habit of the heart. So thankfulness happens in a moment. Gratitude can transform so much. It can transform our situation, it can transform our relationship, and part of that is because it gives us a better perspective, right? Thankfulness can exist without a commitment. You can feel thankful towards someone in a single instant, but gratitude builds long term. And that could be when we have a tough situation, we have gratitude. We can see long term that this this tough situation, will end. It can build long term within relationships when we're not just thanking someone for doing something for us, but it builds on a sense of gratitude that this person is in our life. And think of it this way, in my example of saying thank you for dinner, you can be thankful your spouse made dinner tonight, but gratitude is what shapes the way you treat them day after day. Thankfulness says that was nice. Gratitude says I see your love, I see your sacrifice, I see your effort, and I cherish it. Gratitude strengthens marriages, friendships, communities, and of course, our relationship with God. Now, let me just share something personal, because I think this is, you know, we think of gratitude. Well, what can get in the way of gratitude? So just recently, like yesterday, I was in a bit of a funk. I don't know what was going on. It was probably some type of spiritual attack. And I was saying the St Michael prayer over and over, but something happened, and it put me in a pretty poor mood. And I again, I didn't even know fully why I just, I just felt it. And in a moment of honesty, my wife looked at me and said, Paul, Comparison is the thief of joy. Now, Teddy Roosevelt said it first, but Taryn said it better, and she was right. See, in a moment, I was just comparing a couple different things. I had some comparisons running through my head, my situation, myself, just about a few things in life, family relationships and such, and what I lost sight of, or actually, let me say it this way, what was happening was gratitude was evaporating, not because God stopped being Good, but because my focus shifted. Right comparison destroys gratitude, and it attempts to replace gratitude with jealousy, insecurity, resentment and probably some other things you cannot be grateful and compare yourself at the same time, comparison doesn't exist with gratitude, and that was a wake up call for me, and honestly, one of the promptings for me to record this today. So what is the antidote to comparison, right? What do we do when comparison starts creeping in? Because it does, and it's just the world we live in. It's everywhere, right? So when comparison starts to creep in, we must pray. When, when you see someone who seems ahead, or you see someone maybe that has, maybe they're thriving, they're you think they have a blessing, maybe you hoped for, maybe, maybe someone else or another family has has it easier, an easier situation. Maybe it's more finances, better relationships, whatever it might be. Maybe they have a house, a nicer house, instead of comparing pray for them. You know, just the other day, I was at a. A men's small group, and at the end of it, one of my good friends was leading a prayer, and he said, I'm going to try to paraphrase it, but he said, Lord, who's ever in most need of you tonight, let them experience you like whoever is in most need of you tonight, let them experience you. And when I heard that, I thought that was so beautiful. I mean, at the same time, part of me hoped that I wasn't going to be the one that needed that prayer, but I thought, Wow, how beautiful. What a humble grateful heart. Right, a humble a humble, grateful heart. Prayed that prayer, gratitude forces us to look upward, not sideways. Gratitude needs to be a constant state. We We are meant to live in a constant state of gratitude. We were built to respond to God. Our only response can be gratitude, well, love, but gratitude, right? Because of all that he's done for us. And it's not because everything's perfect, it's not because everything's easy. It's not because we have the best situation. It's because everything comes from God. Gratitude isn't denial. It's awareness. It's not pretending everything's great. It's choosing to see God in everything, even the things we wouldn't have chosen for ourselves. This is how gratitude becomes a lifestyle, not a moment. So as we approach Thanksgiving, I want to invite you to do something this year. Don't let thanksgiving be the only moment of thankfulness. Let it be the spark that leads into a year of gratitude. Okay, so let me give you thinking here three three practices for this week. Let's do three things this week. All right, first, let's name one blessing that isn't obvious, right? Go beyond our four walls. Go beyond food, shelter, right? Or work. Look for something deeper that God is doing in your life, you probably need to take a moment and pray, empty your mind of all your worldly thoughts and concerns and just let the Lord come in. Just say, Lord come fill my mind. What's one thing, that one blessing that isn't obvious, that I can be thankful for, that will lead and spark that gratitude towards you. So one thing that isn't obvious, the second one, thank God for something that hasn't happened yet, right? What do I mean by that? Thank God for the awesome plans that He has for you. And we do that by saying, Lord, I trust your plans. See, gratitude is rooted in faith. That's why we can get through the hard moments, because we have hope for the future, but because we have a underlying foundation of gratitude that the Lord is taking care of us. He is constantly at work. So thank God for something that hasn't happened yet. And third, pray for someone's else, someone else's blessing to increase, right? It destroys when we do that. It destroys comparison at the root, and it builds charity, right? It builds love and a grateful heart. Lord, thank you for caring for me. Please care for those people that aren't experiencing your care the way I am. Let them know you. Let them experience you, right? So those are the three things this week for Thanksgiving. As we approach thanksgiving, let these thank. Let this thanks. Let this thankfulness. For Thanksgiving this year spark a year of gratitude, a lifetime of gratitude. But we'll start with the year. So name one blessing that isn't obvious. Thank God for something that hasn't happened yet, and pray for someone else's blessings to increase. So here's my my closing thoughts here, thankfulness reacts. Gratitude remains, gratitude deepens, gratitude transforms. Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life in Christ. So my prayer is that this Thanksgiving, gratitude takes root in your heart in a deeper way than ever before. Let's end with a prayer in the name of the Father and of the Son of the Holy Spirit. Amen, Heavenly Father. We thank you for this day. We thank you for every moment of our life, Lord, where we can draw closer to you, Lord, fill us with a deep, deep. Rooted sense of gratitude for all you've done in our lives, for all you're doing in our lives, and for all that you will do, Lord. Lord, just constantly remind us to run back to you, to see you your hand in all the moments so that we can respond in gratitude. Lord, bless those in our lives and around us that are struggling, that maybe have lost sight of their gratitude for you, Lord, God help us to be a witness of others and encouragement of others to draw close to you this Thanksgiving, Lord, we we are thankful and we are grateful for all the many blessings and gifts that you have given to us. Come O Holy Spirit. We ask this all in Jesus name, amen, in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, Amen. So there you have it. I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving with your family and friends. May this moment bring you closer to the Lord. Thank you for joining me today. God bless you. Thank you for listening to Catholic money talk. I hope you join us again next time, please click Subscribe on your podcast app to get notified of new episodes. God bless you and have a great day. Foreign